WELCOME TO THE MERLIN CRACK/CLICHE FEST!
I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I'm finally getting round to it now. This is a place for ALL THINGS CRACKTASTIC or CLICHE and AMAZING.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
kelene and I decided that we needed to liven up fandom a bit more, given that a lot of people have been slaving over Big Bang fics for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
boxofmagic and that reel_merlin Round 2 just started things have been a little on the quiet side on lj recently. Plus, she had been reading depressing fic, so we thought (see how I'm spreading the blame here?) that we wanted to read crack, fluff and cliche. Because there's a reason things get to be cliche and that's because they're fun and wonderful and people like them.
SO - here we are. The point of this long ramble - This post can host anything crack or cliche or fluff within the Merlin fandom, whether it be art, fic, ficlets, random threads about your favourite cliches and things that make you go aw. Post prompts if you want to, icons... anything at all.
Of course, having a free-for-all at my journal is all very well, but sadly there must be some
Rules:
1. Must be related to Merlin.
2. Must be crack, cliche or fluff.
3. Everyone must be considerate of other people. No insults, or wank please. This is supposed to cheer us up and embrace summer. Play nicely. I'm sure you all will, this fandom is generally lovely.
4. HAVE OUTRAGEOUS AMOUNTS OF FUN.
*
So - if you have a burning desire to write a crossover between Merlin and the Dan Brown books where Arthur hunts for the Holy Grail and finds out it's Merlin (or Gwen, or Morgana... or Gaius O.o) then DO IT (please, please do). OR if you want to draw the Merlin characters as Merpeople. Or if you want to write a fic in which Merlin is a girl or Arthur is in charge of Pendragon Inc or Morgana has visions of *interesting* things happening - feel free.kelene mentioned a desire to read modern college AU cliche fluff, so if someone wants to do that - it's all good.
Oh... and if anyone wants to make me a banner *wink wink nudge nudge* then feel free to do that as well.
Spread it around, please pimp this out. I want to find this place full of the Merlin love!
I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I'm finally getting round to it now. This is a place for ALL THINGS CRACKTASTIC or CLICHE and AMAZING.
kelene and I decided that we needed to liven up fandom a bit more, given that a lot of people have been slaving over Big Bang fics for boxofmagic and that reel_merlin Round 2 just started things have been a little on the quiet side on lj recently. Plus, she had been reading depressing fic, so we thought (see how I'm spreading the blame here?) that we wanted to read crack, fluff and cliche. Because there's a reason things get to be cliche and that's because they're fun and wonderful and people like them.SO - here we are. The point of this long ramble - This post can host anything crack or cliche or fluff within the Merlin fandom, whether it be art, fic, ficlets, random threads about your favourite cliches and things that make you go aw. Post prompts if you want to, icons... anything at all.
Of course, having a free-for-all at my journal is all very well, but sadly there must be some
Rules:
1. Must be related to Merlin.
2. Must be crack, cliche or fluff.
3. Everyone must be considerate of other people. No insults, or wank please. This is supposed to cheer us up and embrace summer. Play nicely. I'm sure you all will, this fandom is generally lovely.
4. HAVE OUTRAGEOUS AMOUNTS OF FUN.
*
So - if you have a burning desire to write a crossover between Merlin and the Dan Brown books where Arthur hunts for the Holy Grail and finds out it's Merlin (or Gwen, or Morgana... or Gaius O.o) then DO IT (please, please do). OR if you want to draw the Merlin characters as Merpeople. Or if you want to write a fic in which Merlin is a girl or Arthur is in charge of Pendragon Inc or Morgana has visions of *interesting* things happening - feel free.
kelene mentioned a desire to read modern college AU cliche fluff, so if someone wants to do that - it's all good.Oh... and if anyone wants to make me a banner *wink wink nudge nudge* then feel free to do that as well.
Spread it around, please pimp this out. I want to find this place full of the Merlin love!
Cracktastic
But sustenance can come first, that I will allow.
MERLIN THE EVIL OVERLORD AND THE HEROIC REBELS 1
WARNING: Really, really bad. I mean really. Don't read it. >_<
---
There were three Heroic Rebels.
Well, actually, there was rather more than three (after all, they took up a whole village), but there were three people in The Inner Sanctum.
Or had been, anyway, until Lancelot had ridden off to face the evil overlords, along with the other four best-fighters-we’ve-got.
They’d all since been found wandering in the woods looking dazed, unable to recall how they’d got there, except Lancelot. He hadn’t been seen in three weeks.
And so the inner sanctum had called a meeting to discuss whether or not they should go after him.
“I’m sure he’s not dead,” said Gwen. “They were friends. Merlin wouldn’t just kill him. And neither would Morgana.”
“But Nimueh would,” said Gaius.
“Still,” said Gwen brightly. “Two out of three of them won’t kill him.”
“That doesn’t really help us, Gwen,” said Gaius.
“And they didn’t kill the others,” Gwen continued. “So there’s a chance that if we send some more people to Camelot, we might learn something.”
Gaius sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “But we can’t send the men who went before.”
Unfortunately, those four men were now refusing to go anyway near Camelot, even though they couldn’t remember why.
“Well, we can send some others,” said Gwen. “And I’m going with them.”
“Gwen, you can’t-”
“I know him, Gaius. I can talk to him. I might be able to get through to him.”
“If you think it’s that important that we reason with him, then I’ll go,” said Gaius.
“Gaius, we need you,” she said. “You’re our physician. And if I don’t come back, you’ll do better without me than I will without you.”
“Gwen, that’s ridiculous-”
The meeting of The Inner Sanctum of The Heroic Rebels continued in much the same vein for almost two hours, which I shall not recount here. All that need be reported is that Gwen eventually won the argument, and left for Camelot along with the three second-best-fighters-we’ve-got.
---
The gate was unguarded. Other than that, the only things that had changed were that the walls were now painted black, and that were was a large sign across the top of the gate.
It said ‘WELCOME TO THE CASTLE OF TERROR’. It was slightly battered, as if it had been removed and re-attached several times. The four Heroic Rebels stood and stared at it, not sure what to say.
“Is it just me,” said one eventually. “Or is anyone else less scared now they’ve seen that?”
There was a murmur of agreement before they went inside.
---
The palace was rather darker than she remembered. And it took rather a long time to find anyone. Eventually, while all four of them were all standing still at a junction, wondering which way to go, they heard footsteps behind them.
And when they turned to look, there were only three of them.
“Oh, no,” said Gwen.
“He’s probably wandering in the woods by now,” said one of her companions.
The decision was made to keep going. But then the same thing happened again.
And again.
“Oh, no,” said Gwen, surveying the empty corridor behind her. This was not good. She was now all alone in The Castle of Terror, with three Evil Overlords, one of whom would probably kill her.
She did the only thing she could think to do, and kept going.
Thankfully, though, it wasn’t long before she heard voices. And one of them was definitely Merlin. The other sounded like Arthur. They were coming from nearby.
On closer inspection, she found a door. Which she flung open.
Re: MERLIN THE EVIL OVERLORD AND THE HEROIC REBELS 1
Prompts
Modern!AU Merlin/Arthur, they get the same bus to work every day and never talk, but they sort of fall in love.
Reincarnation!fic - any kind, any way.
Re: Prompts
Consider the following prompts:
-- Merlin at Hogwarts
-- Merlin as dinosaurs
-- Merlin in Narnia
-- Uther Pendragon is a guest on the Colbert Report
-- Gregory House and Gaius argue over the curative properties of leeches
-- Prince Arthur and Draco Malfoy (and possibly Zuko, if you're down with Avatar) commiserate
oh god i'll stop here for now
Hooker!Prompt with bribe/trade.
Hooker!fic. Srsly. There can never be too much hooker!fic.
I've not yet see a "Oh woe is me, Hunith is sick so Merlin has to get the cash to cure her or perhaps support younger siblings".
I am willing to write cracky crossovers for some hooker!fic. I've got ideas for House, Due South, Supernatural, or Big Bang Theory crossovers. All I need is some egging on and bribes.
I love this idea. This fest will be wonderful and joy and dazzle like a lightening bug. Shine on, you beautiful thing you.
Re: Hooker!Prompt with bribe/trade.
I'm glad people are enthusiastic. I was afraid no one would come and it would just be me in a party hat dancing to the music in my head. ^_^
I have been craving this for so long but have been busy drowning in my fics to have time to write them.
Crack - Arthur = Batman, Merlin = Catwoman.
I'm sure more will come to me. Crack bunnies usually do.
FANDOM CLICHE THREAD!!!11
Favorites? Least favorites? Confessions? (i.e., I always for some reason want to impose Supernatural's "Bitch." "Jerk." on Merlin and Arthur. >.>)
I'm quite fond of "je suis loser." xD
CRACK PICTURES N E ONEZ?
I have so many different statues and figures and things that I could put on little shows with them. I mean, I do have a ferret statue named Merlin, a ceramic goose that reminds me of Gwen, and a pink flamingo that has the air of Gaius. Hell, I could do the whole thing with different rubber duckies. If anyone wants this, I'll begin planning.
HAHA, spamming already. I should stop before I commit to too much crack.
Edited at 2009-07-09 07:22 pm (UTC)
Re: CRACK PICTURES N E ONEZ?
I come bearing a prompt
Re: I come bearing a prompt
P-P-Penis Prompt.
Trying to write this for the longest time, but it keeps slipping out of crack and into serious for some reason. Alright.
Merlin and Arthur just got together, but their penises have something to say about that. Excalibur (Or Cal for short) is a complete prick and Li'l Lin isn't impressed much. Bonus if Lin's got self-image issues. Like, he thinks his balls are too big and sticky-out-y.
I will have your puppies if someone writes this.
Re: P-P-Penis Prompt.
SOMEONE WRITE IT NOW. *finishing the Evil Overlord fic AT LAST*
Or failing that- how about some Uther/Dragon "I hate you= I secretly love you" wrongness?
DRAGON/UTHER, PART ONE
i'll repost it here, DON'T JUDGE ME.
(also, i'm pretty sure i've read a princess bride crossover. I MAY WRITE ONE MYSELF, THOUGH.)
When Merlin first learned what Uther had really locked the dragon up for, he was torn between laughing and throwing up.
In fact, he did both.
*
The next time Merlin visited the Dragon, Merlin had to apologize several times before he would even so much as look at Merlin. It was at least another five minutes before the Dragon would settle down on his usual rock, and even longer before he would speak.
When he finally did, it was haughtily, and offended. "I see nothing funny about my so-called 'crime.' Is it my fault Uther doesn't know how to use a magical butt plug properly?"
"No," Merlin choked out, with difficulty,
The Dragon continued on, clearly pleased with Merlin's agreement, continued on. "Of course not. It was a point of pride in Come-A-Lot Industries that all of our products come with thorough instructions and a complete set of warnings. I know that it is hard to read them while chained up, but honestly, this sort of thing had happened before. You would think that after the debacle with the enchanted leather dildo and the chocolate sauce, Uther would have a bit more sense, but no. And then I get blamed! Like it's my fault his fate is to be an idiot!"
Merlin could not suppress his gag, but he attempted to cover it up with a cough. The dragon looked at him with suspicion, but let it go when Merlin managed, "Yes! Duh! Uther with a dildo, what a lovely and not at all traumatizing image!"
"He was a rather fine specimen," the Dragon said wistfully. "The things he could do with gags and a pair of leather gloves, it was destiny . . ."
Merlin felt his soul crying out in torment. A lot of torment. Especially once Merlin caught a glimpse of the Dragon's eyes, which contained, however much he hated himself for thinking it, lust.
Struck with the sudden, inexplicable desire to drown himself in ale until he couldn't feel his head, Merlin backed away slowly. The Dragon seemed to be too caught up in reminiscing (or fantasizing, Merlin's brain said, and that was why he hated it) to notice, which was a small blessing. He really did not think he could speak another words to the Dragon without actually throwing himself off the cliff.
With his luck, Merlin probably land on the Dragon's -
He needed alcohol.
That Merlin/Da Vinci Code crossover sounds SO TEMPTING.
As I have nothing to contribute yet, have a picture of Merlin looking HILARIOUS.
Bonus points if anyone can come up with a funny caption.
Lion King fic at the Merlin comm reminded me of this crack contribution I made awhile ago —
I like long drawn out relationshipy fics so even if they have cliches I'm not sure if they qualify as crack!fic. I'd like to see one where Merlin and Arthur accidently get transported to modern times and Merlin finds that he fits in better/likes it more than Arthur. Maybe he becomes a goth or starts D&D or something where he's appreciated more.
Also where's the "Merlin confides in Gwen" or "Merlin dates Gwen to make Arthur jealous" or "Merlin asks Arthur to practice for Gwen..." I'm Merlin/Arthur all the way but I'm surprised how little Gwen is used in fics to push M/A together.
And you can almost never go wrong with college!fic
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that any Jane Austen fan in possession of fangirly tendencies, must be in want of Crossover fic.
I totally did not request this in the kink meme a few days ago. Really.Except, maybe a little.
But, there can never be too much Austen crossovers. MOAR.
HOKAY, darlings. Shall we make a deal? Someone writes me baby!Merlin fic and I make with the scribbling of cracky Merlin Rug Rats, yessum? Can we have adorable baby Merlin and surprisingly competent babysitter!Arthur? You write the fluff, I draw the crack. DO WE HAVE A BARGAIN?
Arthur is a pirate, Merlin is a ninja - theirs is a forbidden love!!!
*rushes to finish the Evil Overlord* CRACK BUNNIES ARE PILING UP.
Arthur has a DEADLY AFFLICTION and Gaius is all NOOOO but Merlin is all WAIT, FOR I HAVE A SOLUTION. Bonus points for glowing.
... uh. I'm depressed over Torchwood and am dealing with it by chanting and requesting healing!cock fic?
Arthur: O__O
Arthur Pendragon & Barack Obama
1. Barack is awful at swordfighting, but he puts up with Arthur's ardent tutelage with grace and amusement. "Stop smirking, every leader of a nation has to know how to defend himself," Arthur says.
2. To Arthur's dismay, Sasha and Malia absolutely adore him. They clamber all over him and want him to listen to all their stories, and Arthur has to say things like, "Sasha, give me back my crown." (To which Sasha replied, "It looks better on me.")
3. It's generally considered strange to say, "Your ears look familiar," so Arthur doesn't. But he thinks it.
4. Barack has roots in all directions, but instead of pulling him apart, they hold him together. Arthur wonders at that. He shows Arthur on a globe all the places he used to live and where his forefathers had lived and, okay, first of all: a GLOBE. The earth is round? Who knew?
5. Arthur has come to enjoy golf. "Idiot," Arthur says affectionately when Barack misses an easy shot at the eighteenth hole.
"Don't call me an idiot, fool," Barack smiles.
Arthur supposes 'fool' is close enough to 'prat'.
5. After an hour or so, Arthur still only has a vague idea of what the stock market is and what direct foreign investment can do. He resents the sympathetic looks Barack keeps on giving him.
"Don't you have some kind of adviser to help you out?" Barack asks.
Arthur shrugs. "I did once."
6. There's no magic in this new world. Arthur should have known, but he feels a pang in his heart anyway.
If anyone know more facts about Arthur and Barack, or wish to expand upon a specific fact, then by all means, we'd like to hear it!
Re: Arthur Pendragon & Barack Obama
MickeyMouse!Merlin and DonaldDuck!Arthur?
Merlin = Mickey Mouse
Arthur = Donald Duck
Morgana = Daisy Duck
Gwen = Minnie Mouse
Uther = Scrooge McDuck
Gaius = Goofy
YOU WOULD MAKE MY LIFE. PS: I am open to bribing you. \o/
Re: MickeyMouse!Merlin and DonaldDuck!Arthur?
Can say, Sleeping Beauty. Merlin clearly had something to do with it.